Archives, eh
-
# What is the collective noun for sub-humans?
It became fashionable yesterday amongst people who breathe through their nose to suggest that Jerry Falwell will be enjoying the many splendors and comforts of Hell. Personally I think it is awful, inhuman and disgusting to say such a thing – there is no Hell.
Jerry Falwell will merely rot slowly in a obscenely expensive box for all eternity.
I understand though that during the process of tipping some opulently housed refuse into the ground, that the Rev. Fred Phelps will be making an appearance to protest against a man he believed to be a ungodly.
I understand that part of it is because Falwell and Phelps disagreed on the notion of Free Will, which is to say that at least at some stage, Falwell believed that such a thing exists, which in Phelps’ mind makes him subjectively indiscernible from those filthy Satan-worshiping Catholicsi.
Anyway. Imagine that, there is someone out there who finds Falwell to be disgusting for the exact opposite reasons that the rest of Humanityii finds him disgusting. I’d suggest throwing Phelps in the hole as well, except that might end up like putting a Portable Hole inside a Bag of Holding, and create a swirling vortex sucking all of Falwell’s mourners into the Astral Plane with no way back…
I change my mind. Do it!
On the other hand, if Phelps really is a dadaist performance artist as some social conservatives have speculated, a provocateur whose purpose is to mock and bring derision to the likes of Falwell and Pat Robertson, well sir, I salute you. Shine on you crazy crazy fuck.
i Note to new readers – ha ha, it is to laugh – I actually quite like most Catholics. The ones who like the Pope though, not the various Gibsons, Hutton and Mel. Or the Pope actually, but that’s a different story. And it’s not just because I am obliged to because I sleep with one.
ii Just in case that wasn’t unsubtle enough, Falwell’s supporters are not humaniii but some sort of primate not descended far enough from our ape-like ancestors.
iiiAnd yes, I am quite happy to acknowledge my dehumanising of them, although I do implore you not to start rounding them up and killing them – why should the rest of us make ourselves even worse than them. Better to just out breed themiv.
ivI also acknowledge the cognitive dissonance that stems from being fully supportive of non-breeders while calling for a breeding program :- )
