A Complete Graph of Hate

A Tweet.

Allow me to explain.

The Franchiser

The franchise operator distrusts the franchisees and asks us, the vendor, to build in restrictions and convoluted rules to protect the data (the precioussss) from the franchisees. They hate the suppliers because the suppliers are gouging them but attempting to change suppliers is a fool’s errand and besides, the CEO enjoys the wining and dining and general fawning, and is never going to stump up money for a new supplier. They hate us because we’ve promised to do things that are no longer, or were never, actually achievable and they suspect we knew it when we made the promises. In some cases they are even right, although if they’d all listened to me

The Franchisee

The franchisees hate the franchiser because who wouldn’t hate people who so clearly distrust and patronise and belittle you, treating you like children. The franchisees make all of the revenue and then have to send chunks of it to this mob of shiny bums in central office who make it their business to make your life hard. They hate us because we enable the shiny bums. They’re most likely indifferent to the supplier, except for those moments when the supplier’s tool is a complete brain dead piece of garbage. Which is to say they loath the supplier at all times.

The Supplier

The supplier hates the franchiser because in coming to us for a third-party piece of kit to work with The Product, the franchiser has stepped out of the eco-system which is the first step to finding another supplier. They hate us because we might become that other supplier, which like all fears is mostly built upon a paranoid fantasy. They barely know the franchisees exist and if they think of them at all, it is with disdain for being unable to afford The Product themselves.

And us, the vendor

We, the vendor, hate the supplier because the supplier deliberately plays a dead-bat against everything, obscures what they can, gouges money where they can’t. We hate the franchisees because we blame them, absurdly, for the Gordian Knot of business rules and requirements that makes the whole project a fragile mess likely to fall over any day now. We hate the franchiser because they took so long to work out what they wanted and then expected it yesterday so we rushed and now we have a system that mostly hangs together but is scarcely monitored and maintained, and any day now we’re going to be exposed – by something going wrong – as the frauds we are.

Fear leads to hate. Ever was it thus in the Kingdom of Agency.

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