Archives, eh
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# It's a Festival of the Oval Ball!
Grand finals. It’ll be a whizzer good weekend, with England losing to Tonga early Saturday morning in the World Cup, the AFL grand final on Saturday afternoon, Wallabies and All Blacks games, and then the NRL grand final on Sunday. I for one don’t give a shit if the Covenant find and invade enslave Earth, just so long as they do it quietly and without disturbing the games.
I will be going for Port Adelaide on Saturday. I used to hate Port Adelaide because they beat Brisbane in 2004 and were cockheads about it afterwards. But my natural instinct to want parochial Victorians to be sad that yet another non-Victorian team is winning “their” competition and taking the pennant away, that kind of petty and malicious glee wins out over grander ideas like tribalism and holding onto the hate.
And let it not be said that I am inconsistent; I am also semi-magnanimous. Sure, I want the Melbourne team to lose the game they care about. In return, though, I offer them a win in a game they couldn’t possibly care any less about; I want Melbourne Storm to win the NRL grand final. Mainly because their competition, Manly, are among the teams I loathe with a passion unbecoming – Manly, Parramatta, and St George – but also because I hate the NSW-centric attitude of most of the big names in rugby league and because; well, because Melbourne are practically another Queensland team anyway, with Cameron Smith, Mick Crocker, Dallas Johnson, Billy Slater, and Greg Inglis. We also get Israel Folau as well, assuming he recovers from his incipient Mormonism.
I’d really like to see some Storm player put a huge hit on that pouting fuck-knuckle Brett Stewart, because I think he’s an unmitigated wanker. That’d really make my weekend.
Meanwhile, I guess I have to shed a tear and mourn the loss of Bernie. Sounds suspiciously like he’s played his last game, with a second knee operation in a month. It’s like seeing your granddad die after a prolonged illness; Larkham’s been held together with duct tape for a long time now, so it’s not as if we didn’t see it coming, but gee, it still stings. At least Berrick Barnes shows promise.
